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Online Dating Scam Fun

Fee Writes

Catfished by a clown: My hilarious adventures with an online dating scammer!

Here’s a question for you: Have you ever tried online dating? A wee while ago, I decided to throw my hat into the ring and give it a whirl.

Oh, I had a blast—mainly with the scammers, if I’m being honest!

It didn’t take long before I got the hang of spotting them. And I must say, I got a right kick out of playing along. I had the time, and honestly, they’re not hard to pick.

It always kicks off the same way—a long-winded message explaining who they are, what they’ve achieved, how much money they’ve got, and how they’d simply love to get to know me. They drop a Gmail address and suggest I write directly so they can send more photos. And that, my friend, is where the real fun begins.

The first thing I do is screenshot their profile photo and do a reverse image search on Google. Sure enough, it turns out to be a stock photo every single time. Classic.

Now, I’ve had a few of these exchanges, but the latest one? Absolute gold.

Can’t quite recall the name he used, so let’s just call him John. John had a profile picture with a dog—a breed I’d never seen before. So I emailed him and asked, ever so innocently, “What kind of dog is that? He’s adorable!”

I also mentioned that we lived in the same city and it’d be great to get to know him better. John wrote back, completely ignored the dog question, and said he’d love to meet—but alas, he was heading overseas for work.

Of course, he was. They always are. And they’re always highly educated—usually in mining, oil, or something similarly dramatic. Sometimes they’re even a high-ranking US Marine. John, though, was an engineer off to work on oil rigs in Saudi Arabia.

So I replied, “That’s exciting for you! But such a shame. Who’s going to look after your dog? And what breed is he, anyway?”

There was still no mention of the dog, but he did say he looked forward to meeting me once he returned.

Then came the rookie mistake—he signed off the email as Paul. Not John.

At this point, I’d had my fun. Time to wrap it up. I responded with:

“Dear John….or Paul.

First, always use the same name throughout—that’s Scam rule 101. And don’t use a photo with an animal if you have no clue what kind it is—that’s another giveaway.

Also, if you’re claiming to be a well-educated Kiwi, your English should be top-notch. May I suggest hiring a proper interpreter next time?

Happy scamming!”

Just so you know, I’ve got a separate Gmail account I use just for these kinds of shenanigans.

I love the fun of it, but you do need to stay sharp. They’re out there, and they’re trying it on.

If you’re dabbling in online dating, keep your wits about you. And if you do decide to string a scammer along, go for it—but when you’re done, drop the word “scam” into the chat. Trust me, they vanish instantly.

And don’t forget—report them to the dating site. It helps keep things safer for everyone.

Just so you know …. I’m no longer on the dating sites, can’t really be bothered if I’m honest