I got married to the same man – twice within a month!
Like many others, my catholic parents held firm to the belief that marriage was for life. So when their youngest daughter came home with a man who was – shock, horror – separated and declared her intention to marry him, you can imagine the reaction.
So, plans were put in place that when the divorce was finalised, we would wed from our home with only close friends around. My two step-boys were to give me away, and my husband’s family would also be there to help celebrate.
But, two weeks before the wedding day, my parents relented and said we could marry in the family home with a celebrant they knew.
A bit of back story. I had my oldest brother to thank for their change of heart. He convinced them that if they disagreed, they would lose me forever. Their hearts melted, and they sort the advice of a priest who, bless his soul, said,
“who is man to say that God will not bless this marriage?”
Now came my dilemma. The caveat of having the wedding at the family home was that it was restricted to only immediate family and no children.
I could have said no but chose to honour my parents because I understood the struggle they would have gone through even to contemplate the idea, let alone act on it with their puritan views.
So, not to be short-changed, we went ahead with the planned, fun wedding with friends and new in-laws, saying our vows to each other in front of witnesses. We just missed out the part of signing the register.
A few weeks later, we travelled to the family home and did it all again, only this time signed on the dotted line.
I never did tell my parents of the first wedding. My siblings finally knew after both parents left us for their catholic afterlife. And to this day, I have no regrets at all.
20 happy years of marriage did come to a mutual end, but we remain the best of friends with fierce family love.
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