Author: Fee Writes

A Love Letter to Going Out On Your Own

A Love Letter to Going Out On Your Own

Why You Should Absolutely Take Yourself Out

the effect of smiles

Alright, by now you’ve probably cottoned on to the fact that I live solo. Not just the kind of solo where the cat’s your flatmate and the plants get names (don’t have a cat but the plants get names), but the kind where I regularly venture out into the world—on my own. And that’s exactly what I felt like chatting about with you today: the fine art of doing things alone.

Let me ask you—have you ever dined out, just you, your plate, and the ambient murmur of a bustling restaurant? If you have, then go you! Give yourself a mental high five. And if you haven’t, well, maybe it’s time to give it a whirl.

This wee reflection was sparked by something that happened just yesterday. I was parked up at one of my favourite local cafés, laptop open, latte in hand—because frankly, their coffee is leagues better than what I whip up at home. Plus, I love that background hum of clinking cups, espresso steam, and low conversation. It’s like a cosy blanket of community and helps me create whatever it is I’m creating.

But then I saw her.

She caught my eye—a woman, possibly around my age, maybe a touch older. But I’d say she was definitely in her seventies. What struck me wasn’t what she was doing, but what she wasn’t doing. She didn’t have a phone. No laptop. No newspaper or book. Just her coffee and the sunshine. She was entirely present, sitting there, soaking in the atmosphere like a cat on a windowsill.

She was people-watching, smiling now and then, simply being. No distractions. No props. Just grace and groundedness (is that a word?) in a world that often feels like it’s spinning off its hinges.

And you know what? I’ve done that too. And sometimes I wonder—has someone glanced my way and thought: She looks happy. She looks like she belongs. She looks like she’s the boss of that corner table.

Because here’s the thing: you’ve got to own it. Whatever it is—your coffee, your meal, your moment. Claim it. The first time you go out on your own, yes, it feels a little wobbly. Maybe a touch awkward. But the second time’s easier. And by the third? You’ll be sauntering in like the café was built just for you.

And let me tell you, other women will see you. Not with pity or curiosity, but with admiration. Quiet envy, even. They’ll clock your confidence, your sense of ease, your refusal to wait for someone else to validate your right to be there. Even if, on the inside, you’re a bit shaky.

going out on your own

It doesn’t matter. You’re doing it. You’re living. You’re showing up in the world as your brilliant, unaccompanied self.

Because truthfully? This world’s a bit bonkers, and no one’s really paying all that much attention. So take the seat by the window. Order the dessert. Bring a book or bring nothing. Just be there.

Own the moment. You absolutely can.

 

Read more
When Online Dates Don’t Match the Photo

When Online Dates Don’t Match the Photo

Another quick online dating story for you—strap in!

the effect of smiles

So, what’s the deal with people looking completely different from their profile photos? I’ve had this happen a few times now. We chat online, everything seems lovely and promising, and I start thinking, “Yes, this could be really cool.” Then I rock up to meet the guy in person… and nope. He looks absolutely nothing like his photos.

Let’s be real—you can’t pack on that much weight in a week. In the photos, he’s trim and fit. In person? Well overweight. That’s not a sudden change; that’s been happening over a period of time. (To be fair, I’ve had one where the weight had come off—so it goes both ways!)

The second time it happened, it’s fair to say it was another doozy. We’d chatted online for some time before finally having a date that suited us both. It all seemed good, and we agreed to meet at a café. I arrived and spotted someone on a bench looking a bit… lost. He was clearly waiting for someone, and as there was no one else around, I put two and two together—and my heart sank. He looked nothing like his picture. Honestly, I wouldn’t have recognised him at all if he weren’t clearly waiting for me.

Then he drops this: he’s been through cancer treatment and chemo. And look, I am sorry to hear that—of course I am—but put up a current photo! Also, just to be clear, I’m not looking to become a full-time nurse. That’s not what I signed up for.

online dating profile photos

All I want is someone who is fit and actually resembles the photos they post. That’s it. Please. Just a little honesty goes a long way.

p.s. It’s one of the reasons I’m no longer online (just in case you’re wondering.)

Rant over!

 

Read more
Losing Your Last Parent

Losing Your Last Parent

When both parents are gone, a deep change unfolds, and the inescapable reality of life’s fragility becomes clear.

the effect of smiles

I have a friend whose father is very old — over 100 — and he has now been given only a few days to live. My friend, understandably, is very distraught, and it brought back strong memories of when my own father passed away. My mother had died around 20 years earlier, but when my father died, the effect it had on me was something I hadn’t expected.

It doesn’t really matter, I don’t think, how old you are, or how old your parent is — unless, of course, they or you are very young. But I’m speaking more about when they are seniors, nearing the natural end of their lives.

If there’s been a close relationship between you and your parents, there’s a certain vulnerability that arises when the second parent dies. Suddenly, you no longer have that invisible buffer. While you still have living parents, you feel a little invincible; death doesn’t weigh heavily on your mind — unless you’re ill, of course. Under normal circumstances, it’s as if there’s an unseen shield between you and the afterlife.

When both parents have gone, you abruptly become part of the dying generation. That buffer is gone. There is nothing left between you and whatever lies beyond. It’s quite mind-bending. Intellectually, of course, we all know we’ll die one day, but while that buffer exists, our minds tend to block out the reality of it. When it’s gone, the inevitability of death truly hits home.

Religion, logic — none of that comes into it. It’s simply a sensation, a profound feeling that arises. I can’t speak for those who lose their parents young, but certainly, for those of us who are older when our parents pass, it seems to be a common experience. Everyone I’ve spoken to has said the same thing: it suddenly becomes very real. Death isn’t an abstract idea anymore — it’s an unavoidable certainty.

Losing your last parent

As the saying goes, the only things set in stone are death and taxes — and taxes, if you’re clever enough, you might manage to sidestep. But death? Death is certain. It’s simply part of life, and there it is.

 

Read more
Online Dating Scam Fun

Online Dating Scam Fun

Catfished by a clown: My hilarious adventures with an online dating scammer!

the effect of smiles

Here’s a question for you: Have you ever tried online dating? A wee while ago, I decided to throw my hat into the ring and give it a whirl.

Oh, I had a blast—mainly with the scammers, if I’m being honest!

It didn’t take long before I got the hang of spotting them. And I must say, I got a right kick out of playing along. I had the time, and honestly, they’re not hard to pick.

It always kicks off the same way—a long-winded message explaining who they are, what they’ve achieved, how much money they’ve got, and how they’d simply love to get to know me. They drop a Gmail address and suggest I write directly so they can send more photos. And that, my friend, is where the real fun begins.

The first thing I do is screenshot their profile photo and do a reverse image search on Google. Sure enough, it turns out to be a stock photo every single time. Classic.

Now, I’ve had a few of these exchanges, but the latest one? Absolute gold.

Can’t quite recall the name he used, so let’s just call him John. John had a profile picture with a dog—a breed I’d never seen before. So I emailed him and asked, ever so innocently, “What kind of dog is that? He’s adorable!”

I also mentioned that we lived in the same city and it’d be great to get to know him better. John wrote back, completely ignored the dog question, and said he’d love to meet—but alas, he was heading overseas for work.

Of course, he was. They always are. And they’re always highly educated—usually in mining, oil, or something similarly dramatic. Sometimes they’re even a high-ranking US Marine. John, though, was an engineer off to work on oil rigs in Saudi Arabia.

So I replied, “That’s exciting for you! But such a shame. Who’s going to look after your dog? And what breed is he, anyway?”

There was still no mention of the dog, but he did say he looked forward to meeting me once he returned.

Then came the rookie mistake—he signed off the email as Paul. Not John.

At this point, I’d had my fun. Time to wrap it up. I responded with:

“Dear John….or Paul.

First, always use the same name throughout—that’s Scam rule 101. And don’t use a photo with an animal if you have no clue what kind it is—that’s another giveaway.

Also, if you’re claiming to be a well-educated Kiwi, your English should be top-notch. May I suggest hiring a proper interpreter next time?

Happy scamming!”

Just so you know, I’ve got a separate Gmail account I use just for these kinds of shenanigans.

I love the fun of it, but you do need to stay sharp. They’re out there, and they’re trying it on.

Online dating scam fun

 

If you’re dabbling in online dating, keep your wits about you. And if you do decide to string a scammer along, go for it—but when you’re done, drop the word “scam” into the chat. Trust me, they vanish instantly.

And don’t forget—report them to the dating site. It helps keep things safer for everyone.

Just so you know …. I’m no longer on the dating sites, can’t really be bothered if I’m honest

 

Read more
Opportunity Missed

Opportunity Missed

The One That Got Away

the effect of smiles

The other day, I was chatting with a friend whose granddaughter and yes, my granddaughters are getting older too—was in a full-blown career crisis. Fresh out of school, she had no clue what to do next. Gap year? Uni? Become a TikTok sensation? Who knows! It got me reminiscing about my own post-school turmoil and the roads I could have taken.

Looking back, there were moments when the universe cracked open a door, but I was too oblivious to step through it. I had grand plans—art school, acting, something creative. My parents, forward-thinking yet oddly old-fashioned, had other ideas. Instead of embracing my theatrical dreams, they steered me towards Business College—a misleading name for what was essentially a 12-month intense course in typing and shorthand. Riveting!

Unsurprisingly, office work didn’t light my fire. So, in a bold move, I applied for a job as a radio DJ. Yes, really. Me, spinning records and chatting to the masses. Did I have experience? Nope. But enthusiasm? Buckets of it.

I had answered an ad in the local paper. Now they actually didn’t even respond to my letter (in those days, you wrote a letter in response to an advert in the paper). So, armed with youthful audacity, I rang the station and asked why they hadn’t responded. They had wanted a guy, so I called them out for discrimination. If they wanted a bloke, they should’ve said so! Back then, a business advertising for staff could say they wanted male, female, old, young, etc. However, to their credit, they invited me in for a trial.

It was a disaster.

I stumbled through the DJ test with all the finesse of a cat on roller skates. However, instead of a total rejection, they said, “You’d be brilliant at reading the news!” And what did I do? I scoffed. Newsreading? How dull! I wanted to be part of the action, not reciting headlines like a robotic parrot.

So, I walked away. Now, with the benefit of hindsight (and a few more decades under my belt), I realise that was a mistake. That tiny opportunity could have led to a creative career—journalism, television, writing, the lot. But I was so fixated on what I thought I wanted that I ignored what could have been.

Life throws us open doors. Sometimes we step through, sometimes we don’t even notice. And sometimes, years later, we think… What if?

A Missed Opportunity

Take the chance. Walk through the door. Or at the very least, give it a decent nudge before it swings shut forever.

Read more

Search

I’m On Bluesky

I’m On Bluesky

About Me

fee o'shea

Thanks for dropping by. My name is Fee O’Shea. I’m a mother and grandma, an author, and a Comedy Improver.
This blog is for my thoughts, my rants, raves, reviews and things that have grabbed my attention. From politics to social media to beauty, health and the environment. Fee’s World is written to bring you a smile or get you thinking. Enjoy.

Categories

DROP ME A LINE

Don't be shy, please contact me if you have any questions or what you'd like me to write about.

A Trusted Site

Just so you know:
Links on this website may give me a small commission,
but there’s no extra cost to you!